apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
