your room smells of hookers.
And success
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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