Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
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