Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
