Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
