I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
