Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize
