I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
