Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Sober January is a disaster.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Randomize
