I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
