Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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