she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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