I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
