i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
