He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
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