with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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