I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
We have so much sex to catch up on
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
