Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
and she was petting her beer can
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
