Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize