Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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