yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
