Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize