so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
