my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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