Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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