Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
