I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Acid is not a monday night drug
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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