the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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