Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
