question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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