I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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