if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
