she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
