My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Randomize
