Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
