I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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