Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
