Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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