3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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