from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
When are your genitals available?
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
