I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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