if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize