so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
