i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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