How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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