party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
