my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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