I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
