we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
