Whod you bang
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
