He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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