And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
