This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
