I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
