I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Randomize
