I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
