Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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