i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
drinking out of a sandbucket again
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize