If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
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