Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
