god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
