I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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