people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
