:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
