Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
