4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
You're so nebulous sometimes
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
